[open] Crackplot post!

[wordoftheroses]

Once upon a time there was a sentient building that was very fond of snatching up people from whatever they were doing and forcing them to interact.

This was fun for the building for a while but it soon grew bored of just watching people and decided that it would have a little fun.

So now, along with snatching people up from their respective lives, it's decided to run a little experiment.

Hence the nice little spread you'll walk in on in the main room. One table laden with food, the other with drinks, but any option you stumble into will give you more than you bargained for.

There's a prettily laid out platter of fruit, for instance, but if you find yourself munching for it, odd things might start happening. Hearing things people didn't actually say, feeling things for no apparent reason. And if that's a regular occurrence? You just might find it happening a little more frequently, a little more constantly. Or maybe, you'll find other people looking at you as if they can hear what you were just thinking.

There's another platter with a nice little spread of cookies. Some are gigantic, more like a mini-cake than a cookie, and some are normal cookie size. If you much on the normal cookies, you might find yourself feeling odd. Not quite yourself. In fact, very not yourself. And if you go for a big one, you'll find the urge to share it even if you're not the type of person who generally does that. And that person you share it with? You may just find that you feel more like them than you do like you.

There's a bowl of nuts set out that look perfectly innocent, but those who steal a handful will find a few moments later something unfamiliar is happening to their body. An unexpected change in a couple of rather private areas.

Those who go for cake will also find themselves changing physically. Maybe the young are suddenly finding themselves a little more grown-up. Or maybe the grown-up suddenly rediscover their childhood. Or maybe you're somewhere in between, and then, well, who knows where you'll go?

And the last food choice of the day is an offering of pretzels. Those that go for the pretzels will find that, a few moments after taking a bite, something starts fading away. Maybe you can't taste the salt anymore, maybe you can't quite understand what people are saying. Things go dark. You can't speak. Something goes away.

The drinks table holds its own danger in a multitude of enticing liquids. You might be safer sticking with the water. Or, well, maybe not. Because after taking a sip, you'll find that things you don't mean to say just... slip out. That your reactions are a little more intense. Things that should be vaguely amusing you can't stop laughing at and things that are mildly irritating send you into a rage.

There's always tea, but sipping on that might just loosen your tongue even farther. In fact, you may find there's nothing you can think that you don't say.

The coffee is no safer. Sure, at first it seems a little less problematic, but then somebody might ask you a question. And whatever that question is, if you go to lie, you'll find it comes out as the truth anyway. And if you try to lie without being asked a question, it just won't come out the way you expect it to.

There's an array of different flavored juices sitting there to sample as well. But take a sip and you won't get the chance to finish it. Whatever the flavor, you'll find you're something you weren't before. If you're lucky, it's still humanoid. Not everyone will be lucky.

And as a final option, there's three delicious-looking flavors of milkshake set out. Those that go for strawberry might find themselves with butterflies in their stomach at the next person who talks to them. The chocolate fans will find their reaction something a little bit deeper, even if the next person they see is a stranger. And those who go for vanilla might find the exact reverse; the next person that looks at them just won't leave them alone.

Anyone looking for food besides this layout will find their search and/or request comes up with nothing. If you don't touch the offerings, you'll be fine. If you do? Well, good luck....


[OOC: ...Ahem. GIANT CRACKPLOT POST OF DOOM. A quick rundown in case anything's not clear: fruit=psychic abilities (either reading or projecting, and those with abilities are heightened); cookies=personality switch (giant ones are with the person they share with, small ones are just switch an aspect/entire personality as you wish); nuts=genderswap; cake=age (up or down is up to the mun, doesn't matter what age they are); pretzels=sensory loss (or muteness, that counts); water=heightens emotions and/or removes inhibitions; tea=speaks thoughts aloud; coffee=can only tell the truth; juice=species shift; milkshakes=fall in love/crush with the next person you see (strawberry is crush, chocolate is love, vanilla is the next person you see falls for you to a degree up to the muns). Go nuts. Post the same person doing several different cracks. Do several at once to someone. Multiple verses. Whatever. If you want to tag someone specific put their LJ name in the subject of your comment. Otherwise, go nuts

Note: it should be noted that this post was copied from a private musebox that allaroughdraft and I were in. I's copied practically verbatim, so all the credit for the crack goes to her, I just thought it would be fun to open it to mass response.)

Comments

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, over at another table, and entirely oblivious to her alternate self's dog form-- well, okay, she did give him a pat on the head as she walked by, much to his glee and slight this-smells-familiar confusion-- is a certain Charun. Who has no idea where she is or why she's here, but she's intact, her bright parrot wings bobbing jauntily at her back, and that's all that concerns her. Besides, there are an absolute ton of people here, which makes this a great opportunity to find a new Mark.

This seems to be a buffet of sorts, but she's too excited by the prospect of all these new potential bonds to feel like eating much. So she's sipping at some tea, watching the crowd mill around.

Huh, she thinks, and finds herself saying a moment later, scrutinising the liquid in her cup with a wary eye. "Wonder what kind of tea this is. My tongue feels really funny. --Wait, why did I say that out loud? Tastes pretty nice, though."

She leans back against the table, contemplating whether to take another sip. "This really is very weird tea. I hope it's not poisoned or something. --No, it's probably not poisoned. I kinda know about poison. I wonder if there's going to be anyone here I can kill? That'd sure be nice."

She drops the cup at once and claps her hands over her mouth. "Wait, I didn't mean to say that!" The words are all but unintelligible through her fingers, but they come anyway.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

He just so happens to be walking by, a cookie in his hand, as Iris speaks.

"Wait," he says, looking back at her. "What?"

He feels concern over this. Like he should be doing something, not encouraging her, oh no that's not happening but instead he should...stop her.

He blinks, not entirely sure what to make of that. Murder is certainly villainous, why should hhe have a problem if she wants to kill people?

He decides, even though his instincts are telling him otherwise, that it's clearly because she would b e encroaching on his territory.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

Her eyes widen as the man's gaze fixes on her. "No, wait, this is totally the last thing I wanted to happen!" she babbles. "I mean, I really was hoping that no one would have heard me saying that! I mean... why am I telling you all this? Aah!"

She tugs frantically at her hair, her wings fluttering and knocking over several half-finished drinks, the liquids spilling out and mingling in a tacky, vivid array of hues. "This really isn't good! It's like I'm saying everything I think and if I start doing that, I'm gonna scare everyone away and everyone will hate me!" She tilts her head at the man, unable to fight the urge to express her curiosity. "...Who are you, anyway?"

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

He listens to her ramble on and is slightly amused. he thinks this is what he must sound like to some people who look at his blog. Of course everything he says on there is carefully calculated and intentional. Mostly. Usuaslly.

But that's not the point.

"Who am I" He scoffs. "I'm Dr. Horrible." He's mildly offended that she's never heard of him but then again, most people haven't. He just wishes they had.

A part of him is debating a name change, maybe something not so horrible. Something....Something heroic.

Then he looks at her, looks at his cookie, and shakes his head. He's clearly not feeling well today.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"Dr. Horrible?" she echoes, the words out of her mouth before she can check them. "That's kind of a weird name. --I really need to slow down. Think through my words before I say them. But it's like I can't. Like when my Calling hits and I can't not let my wings out because there's this pressing at my back and it makes my muscles go all weak like water and then they're just there. It's kind of like that. But with words. I sound really silly. I'm sorry. Also I didn't mean to insult your name, but it is kind of weird."

She takes a deep breath, partly because she needs one, and partly in an attempt to clear her mind. If she could only reach a meditative state, a state of no thoughts-- but it's so noisy in here. All the talking is breaking her concentration.

"...all the talking is breaking my concentration," she says, then sighs. "What's in that cookie? Did it do anything weird to you? I'm pretty sure that tea did something weird to me. This is really annoying."

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

Weird is better than some reactions he's gotten. He'll take weird. "Your Calling?" He asks, not entirely sure he wants to know but assumes that if she's planning to kill people, he should probably get information to stop her.

Because that's what he's supposed to be doing. Not for any other reason, especially not for reasons that can be interpreted as good.

He looks down at his cookie, blinking. "It's just a cookie," he says, taking another bite. Though now that he thinks of it, he wasn't having any strange thoughts before he had the cookie.

"It might," he considers. "It might have affected my thinking. I'm not sure."

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"Mm, that's right," she says. "Calling. You're not from around here? --well, by around here I mean Chicago. That's where I was when I was last. Um. Anywhere that wasn't here. Or maybe he just doesn't know about angels and demons. Yeah, maybe it's just that you don't know about angels and demons. I'm a demon. A Charun. Our purpose is kind of to kill people oh gods not that I should be telling you this because you'll just try and lock me up or, or something, please don't lock me up I mean I can't see anyone here who's like my Mark anyway so maybe I won't have to kill someone today not that I wouldn't like to? And yeah, the food is definitely affecting our thinking. Um."

And then she's quiet for a moment, but only because she's too busy gasping for air.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

He just stares.

Okay, that was a major info dump. Now he needs to process it.

"You're a demon" Don't mind him, he's just going to be really surprised that y'knwo, demons exist now.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," she says, trying incredibly hard not to think too much about what he's saying. If she can slow that down, maybe she can get a handle on this logorrhea. "A Rift demon, to be precise. Charun. No, I already told you that. What are you? --no, I shouldn't be asking. I need to... need to not think. About stuff. Anything."

She clutches her head, as if she can get the thoughts to stop by just compressing them hard enough. Never mind that if she could grip tightly enough to affect her brain in any way, it'd probably kill her. It doesn't stop her trying. This is so frustrating. "--This is so frustrating," she adds, unncessarily.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

"Huh." If he were anywhere else, he would seriously consider her sanity but considering the wings and where they are, he's not about to deny anything. '

"I'm human," he says, sounding almost offended. "I didn't know there was much else you could Besides, you know, animals."

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"You didn't know about species other than humans?" she babbles at once. "--aah, you need to stop saying intriguing things! Because now I'm really curious and I'm not going to be able to stop telling you how curious-- there are lots of species other than humans, you know, I'm really surprised you hadn't heard of them. Angels and demons are two, obviously, I mean you know that because I just told you. And bearpeople and dogpeople and penguinpeople and there are fairies and, I mean, there are gods too, and sometimes gods look like people, and, and, I know there are more but I can't hear myself think for my talking...."

She squeezes her eyes tightly shut, forcing herself not to think of anything for a few seconds. Anything at all. Sadly, a few seconds is all she can manage. "...I really must be annoying you. Even I think I sound annoying right now. I'm really really sorry. You can go away if you want to."

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

His eyes go wide as she tangents, clearly not expecting that long of a list at all. "I...I didn't know." He sounds a little dumbfounded. "I had no idea."

He laughs. "You';re not that bad," he admits. "More talkative than I'm used to but that's okay." Besides, he thinks to himself, if she's talking to him, she won't be killing anything. Even though she already said she probably won't find a mark here.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"I'm really not usually this talkative," she insists. "It's just that I feel compelled to say everything that's on my mind. Probably because of the drink I had, although I guess I can't really be sure of that, but if I were going to make a guess that would be it. My throat's getting really tired of this. I wish I could just stop thinking stuff. I mean, no, I don't want to stop thinking. I just want to stop talking. Really. That's all. Would that be too much to ask of the Rift? I'm tired of it. And I can't kill anyone like this. I'd kill them from boredom first. --that was actually kinda funny."

Rolling her eyes at herself, she scans for the nearest seat, monologuing to herself all the while, and flops down onto a cushy-looking couch. "That was firmer than I expected it to be. Oh, and you can sit down, by the way. Or not if you don't want to." She props her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands. This really is tiring her out. "I guess it's just a good thing I'm not attracted to you or anything. Or I'd be saying all sorts of embarrassing things. Like what if I mmfgh mm mmm mgh." She stuffs her hands in her mouth immediately. No way does anyone need to hear about the thoughts that just ran through her head.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

he's been doing really well on the not laughing part of this whole situation, he finds though, that after watching her stuff a hand in her mouth, he an't help it.

In it's own weird way, this is hilarious.

"There has to be something we can do," he says once he regains his composure. "I mean, I can't go around having these...feelings that I'm having and you can't go around saying whatever comes into your head. I just...I have no idea what to do.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"I agree," she says quickly. "And thank you for changing the topic. So I can take my hand out of my mouth. Because if I started talking about anyway never mind let's talk about your plan. Or, not that you had a plan. You said we should do something, and I agree. Maybe we should have some more of the food and drink we had. Or the opposite of what we had. What's the opposite of water and tealeaves? I guess fire and... something inert. Leaves and growths are symbolic of life. Alchemically speaking. So something that doesn't have much life energy, like fire and rocks. But I don't wanna eat fire and rocks. And I don't see any anyway."

She clutches at her head again, forcing her thoughts to lull for a moment's respite before picking the conversation back up. "What feelings are you having? --Sorry, I don't mean to ask. I'm just. I'm really curious. And I can't help it. But you know that." She laughs self-consciously, her feathers fluffing up. "This is totally ridiculous."

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he says. "I still don't have one. I'm working on it though. Not that I've come up with anything besides what you did. Having something that would counteract what we already had."

He sighs. "I'm....A villain," he starts to explain. "I do villainous things. Murder does not other me. Well, sometimes it does but that's not the point. Anyway, I'm having more...heroic tho9ughts. Like I want to save whoever it is you're planning to murder and stop you. This is not right, not at all."

"Anyway, we should see if there's something on that table that might make you normal gain," he continues, eying the table. "We can watch other people, that way we're not left trying everything ourselves and possibly making things even worse."