[open] Crackplot post!

[wordoftheroses]

Once upon a time there was a sentient building that was very fond of snatching up people from whatever they were doing and forcing them to interact.

This was fun for the building for a while but it soon grew bored of just watching people and decided that it would have a little fun.

So now, along with snatching people up from their respective lives, it's decided to run a little experiment.

Hence the nice little spread you'll walk in on in the main room. One table laden with food, the other with drinks, but any option you stumble into will give you more than you bargained for.

There's a prettily laid out platter of fruit, for instance, but if you find yourself munching for it, odd things might start happening. Hearing things people didn't actually say, feeling things for no apparent reason. And if that's a regular occurrence? You just might find it happening a little more frequently, a little more constantly. Or maybe, you'll find other people looking at you as if they can hear what you were just thinking.

There's another platter with a nice little spread of cookies. Some are gigantic, more like a mini-cake than a cookie, and some are normal cookie size. If you much on the normal cookies, you might find yourself feeling odd. Not quite yourself. In fact, very not yourself. And if you go for a big one, you'll find the urge to share it even if you're not the type of person who generally does that. And that person you share it with? You may just find that you feel more like them than you do like you.

There's a bowl of nuts set out that look perfectly innocent, but those who steal a handful will find a few moments later something unfamiliar is happening to their body. An unexpected change in a couple of rather private areas.

Those who go for cake will also find themselves changing physically. Maybe the young are suddenly finding themselves a little more grown-up. Or maybe the grown-up suddenly rediscover their childhood. Or maybe you're somewhere in between, and then, well, who knows where you'll go?

And the last food choice of the day is an offering of pretzels. Those that go for the pretzels will find that, a few moments after taking a bite, something starts fading away. Maybe you can't taste the salt anymore, maybe you can't quite understand what people are saying. Things go dark. You can't speak. Something goes away.

The drinks table holds its own danger in a multitude of enticing liquids. You might be safer sticking with the water. Or, well, maybe not. Because after taking a sip, you'll find that things you don't mean to say just... slip out. That your reactions are a little more intense. Things that should be vaguely amusing you can't stop laughing at and things that are mildly irritating send you into a rage.

There's always tea, but sipping on that might just loosen your tongue even farther. In fact, you may find there's nothing you can think that you don't say.

The coffee is no safer. Sure, at first it seems a little less problematic, but then somebody might ask you a question. And whatever that question is, if you go to lie, you'll find it comes out as the truth anyway. And if you try to lie without being asked a question, it just won't come out the way you expect it to.

There's an array of different flavored juices sitting there to sample as well. But take a sip and you won't get the chance to finish it. Whatever the flavor, you'll find you're something you weren't before. If you're lucky, it's still humanoid. Not everyone will be lucky.

And as a final option, there's three delicious-looking flavors of milkshake set out. Those that go for strawberry might find themselves with butterflies in their stomach at the next person who talks to them. The chocolate fans will find their reaction something a little bit deeper, even if the next person they see is a stranger. And those who go for vanilla might find the exact reverse; the next person that looks at them just won't leave them alone.

Anyone looking for food besides this layout will find their search and/or request comes up with nothing. If you don't touch the offerings, you'll be fine. If you do? Well, good luck....


[OOC: ...Ahem. GIANT CRACKPLOT POST OF DOOM. A quick rundown in case anything's not clear: fruit=psychic abilities (either reading or projecting, and those with abilities are heightened); cookies=personality switch (giant ones are with the person they share with, small ones are just switch an aspect/entire personality as you wish); nuts=genderswap; cake=age (up or down is up to the mun, doesn't matter what age they are); pretzels=sensory loss (or muteness, that counts); water=heightens emotions and/or removes inhibitions; tea=speaks thoughts aloud; coffee=can only tell the truth; juice=species shift; milkshakes=fall in love/crush with the next person you see (strawberry is crush, chocolate is love, vanilla is the next person you see falls for you to a degree up to the muns). Go nuts. Post the same person doing several different cracks. Do several at once to someone. Multiple verses. Whatever. If you want to tag someone specific put their LJ name in the subject of your comment. Otherwise, go nuts

Note: it should be noted that this post was copied from a private musebox that allaroughdraft and I were in. I's copied practically verbatim, so all the credit for the crack goes to her, I just thought it would be fun to open it to mass response.)

Comments

[wordoftheroses.livejournal.com]

Aurora is snacking on the fruit. She has a soft spot for any free food and ruit is especially nice. Her senses want to tell her there's something wrong, that the fruit is a bit off but she ignores it in favor of snacking.

When she starts hearing the voices, the ones that aren't actually there, she's not sure what to make of it. She stops eating and looks around.

She bites her lip for a moment, watching the people around her. She has an idea what this might be but the voices are building, piling on top of each other and starting to give her a headache fast. She growls under her breath and steps away from the table, moving to sit on a couch instead and tries to take a deep breath and center herself.

She doesn't know the building well, so she has no idea where she can go for privacy, or if it would even do her any good.

...aaaand what the heck, dropping rift!Iris in here. BECAUSE CLEARLY SHE AND AURORA NEED THIS.

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Iris, thankfully, has only drunk the water. Thankfully, she mentally supplies, because water can't possibly be bad. As a substance, it's almost completely inert, and she'd be able to tell instantly if there were anything wrong with it. So, of course, she's perfectly safe.

Besides, she's kind of thirsty. Having been transported to this strange place is making her nervous, and being nervous makes her throat dry. So she downs the whole glass of water, then scans the room for familiar faces, wondering idly why she feels kind of drunk.

And then she spots Aurora, chilling on a couch. "...Oh, hi!" she calls in a slightly more exuberant voice than Aurora's headache might like, flopping down next to the fae and draping her wings over the back of the couch. "Hey, you have any idea where we are or how to get out or anything? I mean, you know all sorts of stuff, so I kind of figured you might know. And things. Um. Don't mind me." She holds up her glass, examining it quizzically. "I think there might've been something in the water."

[thatspoetrytoo.livejournal.com]

She's never had a milkshake before. In fact, she's never had a few of the things that er e on the table but it's the milkshakes that interest her the most.

She reaches out, one hand curling around the glass of a strawberry milkshake and pulls it towards her, sipping at the liquid carefully.

It's not bad, she thinks to herself. It could be worse. She's had worse.

She looks up, blinking. Something feels odd but she can't put her finger on it. She looks around, not entirely sure what to do with this oddness

BEST CRACK. :DDD

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Sitting in a puddle of tinehgirl clothes, staring with guilty, hang-dog eyes at a once-half-full glass of juice that's now spilling its contents across the floor, is a Golden Retriever. A medium-sized, slightly underfed, male Golden Retriever. Who used to be Iris.

The dog is actually Iris' daemon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A6mon_%28His_Dark_Materials%29), or at least shaped thereafter, but she-- or rather, he-- doesn't know that. He doesn't have a concept of very much right now, not even the fact that he's the wrong gender for his body. After all, he's a dog, and dogs don't care much for identity theory. He would, however, very much like to be scratched behind the ears.

The best way to ensure this happens, his little dog brain has decided, is to occasionally look up at passersby and whine piteously. He's pretty sure that always works. Even if he'd never been a dog until five minutes ago.

It's Mrgan's doing. She wrote this post up over a year ago, I'm just leeching

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

Theta expects to see lots of things around this place, dopplegangers, the Doctor, all sorts of strange and weird things.

What he doesn't expect to see is a dog.

"Hello!" He says quite cheerfully, dropping down to his knees, so he can give the dog a good scratch. "You're a puppy, aren't you?" He grins quite excitedly. He likes dogs. Dogs are good things.

[splithesky.livejournal.com]

The Paradox Machine is having a chocolate milkshake.

It's cold, much colder than she is and she remembers that humans like chocolate. She's trying to be human today, she doesn't know why. it's not really working but it's something to do.

She looks around, blinking. Something feels different but she keeps drinking. Maybe it's working, maybe she's changing from her wretched state into something new.

She can only hope.

I apologize in advance and give you full leave to ignore this.

[isitthesmile.livejournal.com]

The Master is in a good mood today, a manic mood, and of course, when he sees her sitting there, his glorious machine, he goes straight for her, ignoring the table of goodies entirely.

He comes up behind her, not that he expects her to be surprised, and rests his fingers on the back of her neck, grinning as he addresses her. "Hello, my dear."

[consultmybooks]

Tea?

Tea was supposed to be safe. Tea was supposed to be normal. But it wasn't. It was good tea, but something was definitely wrong here. Something had definitely...changed.

Giles knew better than to eat strange food laid out in a strange building that was probably mystical in more than a few of its aspects. But he'd been in here a while, and he was honestly starting to get hungry.

But even the tea hadn't been as bad as the pretzels. Or the fruit. Giles is sitting against a handy wall, glasses off, rubbing at his eyes every so often and blinking owlishly. On top of that, he appears to be hearing things. He has to be hearing things.

Where the hell is the exit?

This should not amuse me as much as it does....

[anhonestface.livejournal.com]

The Doctor has had a strawberry milkshake. He, unfortunately, was not aware of the consequences of such an action before he had it.

Now, as he watches Giles and considers the emotions welling up inside him, he's starting to regret that.

"There is something very wrong here," he says, half to Giles and half to himself. "That's the obvious part. The not so obvious bit is what we're going to do about it."

You've been recruited to help the cause, Giles. It's his way of flirting.

How long have I owed you and Theta this for?

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

A minute ago, this chair held a Time Lord who was not particularly troubled by anything.

Now it holds a very grumpy looking cat and a spilled glass of juice.

... Koschei is not pleased.

Theta is getting ALL THE ANIMALS in this post. He has decided to make it his mission.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

Theta, for once in his life, has actually picked up on something.

The people who go get things from the table have things happen to them. This is something he's been observing from many places but, at the moment, it's been under said table.

He was actually crawling out to tell Koschei what he's noticed when he sees him take a drink form the juice.

"Kosch--"

There is a kitty.

His brain is torn between 'This is not very good' and "KITTY!!'

He walks over, hands shoved in his pockets before looking down at him. "Are you all right," he says his tone worried. Then, after a moment's pause he adds. "Can I pet you? Please?"

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, over at another table, and entirely oblivious to her alternate self's dog form-- well, okay, she did give him a pat on the head as she walked by, much to his glee and slight this-smells-familiar confusion-- is a certain Charun. Who has no idea where she is or why she's here, but she's intact, her bright parrot wings bobbing jauntily at her back, and that's all that concerns her. Besides, there are an absolute ton of people here, which makes this a great opportunity to find a new Mark.

This seems to be a buffet of sorts, but she's too excited by the prospect of all these new potential bonds to feel like eating much. So she's sipping at some tea, watching the crowd mill around.

Huh, she thinks, and finds herself saying a moment later, scrutinising the liquid in her cup with a wary eye. "Wonder what kind of tea this is. My tongue feels really funny. --Wait, why did I say that out loud? Tastes pretty nice, though."

She leans back against the table, contemplating whether to take another sip. "This really is very weird tea. I hope it's not poisoned or something. --No, it's probably not poisoned. I kinda know about poison. I wonder if there's going to be anyone here I can kill? That'd sure be nice."

She drops the cup at once and claps her hands over her mouth. "Wait, I didn't mean to say that!" The words are all but unintelligible through her fingers, but they come anyway.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

He just so happens to be walking by, a cookie in his hand, as Iris speaks.

"Wait," he says, looking back at her. "What?"

He feels concern over this. Like he should be doing something, not encouraging her, oh no that's not happening but instead he should...stop her.

He blinks, not entirely sure what to make of that. Murder is certainly villainous, why should hhe have a problem if she wants to kill people?

He decides, even though his instincts are telling him otherwise, that it's clearly because she would b e encroaching on his territory.

[wonderneverdies.livejournal.com]

Lyman is wandering through, humming a lullabye cheerfully to himself as he does. The spread of food makes him smile, and though he's not particularly hungry, he takes a few pretzels to munch on as he passes through.

He's almost out of the room again when he finishes his snack and begins to hum again -- or tries to. Nothing comes out, though, and he closes his eyes and tries to clear his throat, but despite the fact that he can feel it happen there's no sound.

"Hello?" he tries to say, except he's only mouthing the words, nothing comes out of his mouth, and he leans against the arm of the chair behind him and covers his face, panic setting in as he keeps trying to speak and getting silence.

[magicandpudding.livejournal.com]

Luna decided to eat some fruit, part of her was a little disappointed that there was no actual pudding. But fruit is extremely good for you, it keeps away several species of malicious little creatures that like to eat your knees.

But now, there's a flood of voices and it sounds like she's stuck in a large crowd and everyone's shouting. She's not particularly worried. She calmly places her hands over her ears and wanders over to a man who's sat with his head in his hands.

"Excuse me?" she asks, a little loudly than normal. "Are you alright? It's very noisy in here, don't you think?"

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

Generally, milkshakes are more of Theta's type of drink than Koschei's, but when he'd picked it up he'd been intending to find Theta and offer it to him. After searching briefly and being informed by Grace that he was with her, however, he'd sat down instead and, well, it was in his hand anyway.

Which is why Koschei is on a couch, sipping on a chocolate milkshake as he pages through a book in search of useful information.

[atthechurch.livejournal.com]

Eleanor has just arrived.

Eleanor has just arrived after being very, very dead.

She stumbles forward,, looking around her at all the people and gaping for a few minutes.

Was this heaven? Was this Hell? Was this Limbo? She had no idea.

"Excuse me," she says, her voice shaky. "Excuse me,, where are we?"

Any verse/timeline, so if you want noncanon, let me know. That's also why this is so vague. >>

[betterasacoward.livejournal.com]

Jack has coffee.

Considering the fairly narrow escape he just made, he thinks he deserves coffee.

The first cup is already gone, a second one is following it at a slightly more normal rate, and Jack looks a lot less stressed than he had five minutes ago when he sat down.

[mademyown.livejournal.com]

Romana has tea. She enjoys tea. Generally speaking, tea does not turn against her, unlike everything else that seems to be going wrong.

She is skeptical of her tea.

"I am skeptical of you, tea." Then she blinks. "I didn't actually mean to say that." She pauses. "Or that. Oh this is bothersome."

This is not going to be fun.

And once again, feel free to specify verse if you want.

[isitthesmile.livejournal.com]

There are two Masters, of the same regeneration. By silent agreement, they have settled down in opposite ends of the room.

One has coffee, and currently looks quite pleased by his drink.

The other has tea, and is already starting a quiet monologue.

Gallifrey for coffee! becuase why the hell not?

[anhonestface.livejournal.com]

The Doctor is having coffee. Because why not It's coffee and he's going to be here for a while and he sees no reason why he shouldn't have some.

....If only he was paying attention more.

"Is it just me," he says, coming up tot he Master. "Or is ti more crowded today than usual?"

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

Cassie would have probably sat down and eaten all things that contained sugar and chocolate. Literally, everything would be gone. She has a mean sweet tooth on her.

But more than anything, she's thirsty.

Chocolate milkshake it is, then.

...ahahaha so I wanted to tag Cassie. AM TAGGING HER ANYWAY.

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

There is a teenage boy flailing next to you, Cassie. A small, tan teenage boy with huge feathered wings and hair down to his shoulder blades. He's staring at the handful of peanuts in his palm, looking utterly mortified.

Oh, and a lot like a certain Wanderer Cassie might know.

"Cassie!" he yelps, upon noticing her next to him. It's an undignified sort of yelp, and he flushes darkly. Though whether at that, or the discomfort of the general situation, he's not quite sure. "D-don't look at me!" He waves his hands frantically in front of his face. "Something's gone really wrong!"

[morethanarookie.livejournal.com]

Mattie is drifting through, more interested in his video game than in the table of goodies. Not that he didn't take a glance, but he can always come back to it later, or think something up. Nonetheless, the food looks tempting, so he grabs a handful of nuts on his way to the chair, since they were close and require little attention to eat.

His attention got drawn from the game from the very odd feelings that started after he'd finished his snack, and now the game is lying discarded on the floor as Mattie looks down at himself in confusion. Making something like this face, to be exact. (http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e99/pixiechanicons/emilyblunt/042.png)

He -- or she, it should possibly be said instead -- is speechless for a moment. That moment is followed by a very long, quiet string of curses.

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

Cassie has also fallen victim to the little bowl of nuts on the table. She's paused to throw a few back and was just about to move on when she felt a strange feeling that sort of tingled everywhere.

Next thing she knew it, her hair short - she's a good several inches taller and she's very much male.

"Oh my god!" she wails, pulling at her hair, hoping for it to grow back. "I'm... I'm... I'm a boy?!"

She looks up at the girl swearing under her breath with a frown, "You're... you're a girl!"

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

Cassie decided to grab a handful of nuts. It's not really like her since she's usually a sweet food kind of person. But oh, well.

And now, her hair's short, she's several inches taller and she has a rather deep voice.

She looks down at herself, "Nooooooo!" she's absolutely horrified. "That's just... I DON'T WANT TO BE A BOY!"

You might get spam until I wear myself out. You're free to tell me to knock it off, it's just there.

[weshouldbestars.livejournal.com]

Koschei has tea.

He also has work, but he's ignoring it in favor of tea, because tea is far preferable to work and also he's bored with his work. There's nothing interesting about it. Not that tea is particularly interesting but at least it's more enjoyable.

He may not entirely have noticed yet that his mental tangents on tea and work have become verbal, between sips. He is distracted. By tea. Tea and still not having entirely woken up from being asleep ten minutes ago.

[writingahistory.livejournal.com]

Nikolai Ballard has been trying to get into the kitchen to get a glass of water for far too long. The door is not where it's supposed to be, though, and when he finally found what should have been the door to the kitchen, it was locked.

The frustration is not helping the headache, and the spread in the main room when he returns to it is only slight consolation. Nonetheless, he takes his glass of water, as well as a small plate of fruit, and returns to his table and his files. And also the aspirin that the building helpfully provides. He likes to think it's an apology.

He doesn't pay much attention as the chatter around him rises in a swell. He's too distracted by the fact that the throbbing headache is starting to get worse, and the dull need to act that's pulsing behind it.

[beforeblueboxes.livejournal.com]

The TARDIS has been watching all the commotion from a corner but not actually getting involved. She's feeling shy today and like she wants to hide. However, it's realizing that she recognizes someone in all the people that gets her to her feet.

She walks over to Ballard, smiling a little shyly. She doesn't expect to be remembered but he was a nice construct and she would not mind talking to him again.

"Hello," she says waving a hand at him. "Are you all right. You do not look well."

[moldedoffaults.livejournal.com]

William is slightly distracted from his chocolate milkshake by the technology he's fiddling with, trying to fix. He's not entirely certain he can fix it -- of course, he's not entirely certain he's not making it up but he tries to ignore that. It doesn't look like anything he's ever seen, but few things Doctor Smith gives him ever do -- not that his hallucination/permanent houseguest gives him much to fiddle with anyway.

He has no idea that the next time he pays attention to the people around him he's likely to be distracted from his fiddling, of course. He's just enjoying his sweets and having something to do.

[lyricalstampede.livejournal.com]

Cider is sitting on the table, lacking a shirt and looking very confused. He just had to take off his shirt to deal with the expansive wings that just started growing out of his back. Everything feels slightly different, his senses have gone slightly off kilter and he shifts uncomfortably in his spt.

Out of sheer habit, he picks up his guitar, starting to strum out a tune but even that sounds odd to his ears.

[sleptforsolong.livejournal.com]

River isn't actually hungry, but he takes a handful of nuts as he passes. Somebody obviously felt like feeding them all, and it would be rude to ignore that.

He's halfway across the room before he starts picking on them and feels things shift. Shift and align and become right and he holds his breath for a moment, not daring to think, not daring to hope.

But he looks down and it is and he's there and he starts to laugh.

So don't mind the boy -- the boy -- standing in the middle of the room, laughing, crying, and whispering thanks and praise up to the ceiling in Chinese. He's just very happy.

[candyorakiss.livejournal.com]

Ella is having a chocolate milkshake. She normally would just make her own food but people have put out tasty things! She is obligated to eat them!

She sees the crying boy and blinks, tilting her head to the side and blinking. She walks over and gives him a hug. Yes. Hugs are the answer hugs and kisses and she starts making an ice cream cone for him. Tasty food makes things better too.

[morethangifted.livejournal.com]

River is lying stretched out on the rafters with a plate. She hasn't actually noticed what her food has done to her, but then, she's not feeling the effects.

She choose the fruit, you see, and now anyone passing below her is getting the jumbled stab of thoughts that is River's mental state, a mixture of constant pain and too many emotions and feedback from the entire room and those disjointed thoughts that probably only make sense to her even if you are in her mind.

She would apologize, if she knew.

[consultmybooks]

Giles...had been adjusting well enough to the chatter filtering through his head. As long as he didn't try to focus on individual voices, and he wasn't, it was just another level to the ordinary chatter of the guests to this strange party. Distracting, but not cripplingly so.

Then he comes within range of River. The jumble of her thoughts, combined with what she's picking up from the rest of the room, hits him like a sledgehammer, enough so that he collapses to his knees with the pain of it.

[noonewassaved.livejournal.com]

Father McKenzie's hands are shaking as he sips his tea. The cup rattles as he sets it down, burying his head in his hands with a shaky breath.

He can't believe what he did before he came here, can't believe what he's become, can't believe any of it happened.

He doesn't notice as he begins speaking his thoughts. Right now, the thoughts dominant in his mind are prayers, and it feels natural to begin saying them aloud.

[saysweetprayers.livejournal.com]

The Word Eater doesn't often have drinks, usually they just wind up getting cold next to him but today he picked up a cup of coffee in a whim.

He doesn't take more than a few sips of it though, as he starts to hear something very interesting indeed.

He stands a few feet away from the man, and opens himself to the words, sucking them in like they were sweets. Oh, they are good though, very good. He smiles to himself. He shouldn't gorge himself, he knows but ti's hard when the man is offering them up so freely.

He's also curious, so he reaches out, curling himself around this man's mind and offering up a question. Why do you pray?

[toomanybigwords.livejournal.com]

Trey doesn't have a lot of sweets when he's here. He tries not to get used to it, and anyway, too much food or too sweet food still makes him sick. But he's gotten better at handling a little, so he takes a very small slice of cake.

But when he bites it he feels himself growing, like somebody's pulling him until he stretches, and his hands and his feet and his eyes aren't where they ought to be and he whimpers, dropping the plate and trying to dive behind his usual couch.

He's too big to hide here properly now, though, so he curls up against the side, pressing into the crack between the couch and the wall as much as he can. He's still too skinny, even big like this, so he almost manages.

[seeherrise.livejournal.com]

Louise has pretzels. And they are delicious. And the fact that they are free food has nothing to do with this judgment. Nothing at all. Ignore the almost empty fridge at home.

Of course, she starts to feel funny after having a couple, but she can't put her finger on how, at first. Until she goes for the whiteboard on a string around her neck, to doodle, and she can't feel what her hands are touching.

When she looks down, they're on the board, but she can't feel it.

Now she's starting to panic, her breath coming fast as she touches the couch, the wall, the floor, herself, and finally pinches herself. Nothing. She can't feel anything, and now that she thinks about it she can notice it in her entire body.

[consultmybooks]

Giles, who also ate some of the pretzels, is sitting quietly against a wall and waiting for his sight to come back. So Louise might bump into him in her panicking.

"Owch."

[lookonthewonder.livejournal.com]

Amelia has a strawberry milkshake! Because it was a pretty color. And looked yummy. And it is yummy! So she will be enjoying it.

...Hopefully, the next person she sees will not mind being touched. Or kissed. Or propositioned.

[ifimamess.livejournal.com]

Bourbon is at a table, with his laptop open. This in and of itself is not entirely odd.

The incredibly relaxed posture, and the fact that his back is to half of the room, is incredibly so. The cookie crumbs on the plate and the half-finished glass of water besides him might explain it, though.

Either way, he looks happy.

He should be questioning it; something about this is off and he knows it, but he doesn't care. He's too busy enjoying it.

[ihavefootnotes.livejournal.com]

Annie has a vanilla milkshake, because while coffee is wonderful, she has her thermos with her for that and milkshakes are harder to come by. She also has a plate of fruit, because she occasionally can be healthy.

If she knew exactly what these things did, she would probably be quite amused and possibly getting one of her roommates to write a story based off of the idea. Right now, all she notices is people are really talkative today. Not that she minds. More chances to overhear something interesting!