[open] Crackplot post!

[wordoftheroses]

Once upon a time there was a sentient building that was very fond of snatching up people from whatever they were doing and forcing them to interact.

This was fun for the building for a while but it soon grew bored of just watching people and decided that it would have a little fun.

So now, along with snatching people up from their respective lives, it's decided to run a little experiment.

Hence the nice little spread you'll walk in on in the main room. One table laden with food, the other with drinks, but any option you stumble into will give you more than you bargained for.

There's a prettily laid out platter of fruit, for instance, but if you find yourself munching for it, odd things might start happening. Hearing things people didn't actually say, feeling things for no apparent reason. And if that's a regular occurrence? You just might find it happening a little more frequently, a little more constantly. Or maybe, you'll find other people looking at you as if they can hear what you were just thinking.

There's another platter with a nice little spread of cookies. Some are gigantic, more like a mini-cake than a cookie, and some are normal cookie size. If you much on the normal cookies, you might find yourself feeling odd. Not quite yourself. In fact, very not yourself. And if you go for a big one, you'll find the urge to share it even if you're not the type of person who generally does that. And that person you share it with? You may just find that you feel more like them than you do like you.

There's a bowl of nuts set out that look perfectly innocent, but those who steal a handful will find a few moments later something unfamiliar is happening to their body. An unexpected change in a couple of rather private areas.

Those who go for cake will also find themselves changing physically. Maybe the young are suddenly finding themselves a little more grown-up. Or maybe the grown-up suddenly rediscover their childhood. Or maybe you're somewhere in between, and then, well, who knows where you'll go?

And the last food choice of the day is an offering of pretzels. Those that go for the pretzels will find that, a few moments after taking a bite, something starts fading away. Maybe you can't taste the salt anymore, maybe you can't quite understand what people are saying. Things go dark. You can't speak. Something goes away.

The drinks table holds its own danger in a multitude of enticing liquids. You might be safer sticking with the water. Or, well, maybe not. Because after taking a sip, you'll find that things you don't mean to say just... slip out. That your reactions are a little more intense. Things that should be vaguely amusing you can't stop laughing at and things that are mildly irritating send you into a rage.

There's always tea, but sipping on that might just loosen your tongue even farther. In fact, you may find there's nothing you can think that you don't say.

The coffee is no safer. Sure, at first it seems a little less problematic, but then somebody might ask you a question. And whatever that question is, if you go to lie, you'll find it comes out as the truth anyway. And if you try to lie without being asked a question, it just won't come out the way you expect it to.

There's an array of different flavored juices sitting there to sample as well. But take a sip and you won't get the chance to finish it. Whatever the flavor, you'll find you're something you weren't before. If you're lucky, it's still humanoid. Not everyone will be lucky.

And as a final option, there's three delicious-looking flavors of milkshake set out. Those that go for strawberry might find themselves with butterflies in their stomach at the next person who talks to them. The chocolate fans will find their reaction something a little bit deeper, even if the next person they see is a stranger. And those who go for vanilla might find the exact reverse; the next person that looks at them just won't leave them alone.

Anyone looking for food besides this layout will find their search and/or request comes up with nothing. If you don't touch the offerings, you'll be fine. If you do? Well, good luck....


[OOC: ...Ahem. GIANT CRACKPLOT POST OF DOOM. A quick rundown in case anything's not clear: fruit=psychic abilities (either reading or projecting, and those with abilities are heightened); cookies=personality switch (giant ones are with the person they share with, small ones are just switch an aspect/entire personality as you wish); nuts=genderswap; cake=age (up or down is up to the mun, doesn't matter what age they are); pretzels=sensory loss (or muteness, that counts); water=heightens emotions and/or removes inhibitions; tea=speaks thoughts aloud; coffee=can only tell the truth; juice=species shift; milkshakes=fall in love/crush with the next person you see (strawberry is crush, chocolate is love, vanilla is the next person you see falls for you to a degree up to the muns). Go nuts. Post the same person doing several different cracks. Do several at once to someone. Multiple verses. Whatever. If you want to tag someone specific put their LJ name in the subject of your comment. Otherwise, go nuts

Note: it should be noted that this post was copied from a private musebox that allaroughdraft and I were in. I's copied practically verbatim, so all the credit for the crack goes to her, I just thought it would be fun to open it to mass response.)

Comments

[wordoftheroses.livejournal.com]

Aurora is snacking on the fruit. She has a soft spot for any free food and ruit is especially nice. Her senses want to tell her there's something wrong, that the fruit is a bit off but she ignores it in favor of snacking.

When she starts hearing the voices, the ones that aren't actually there, she's not sure what to make of it. She stops eating and looks around.

She bites her lip for a moment, watching the people around her. She has an idea what this might be but the voices are building, piling on top of each other and starting to give her a headache fast. She growls under her breath and steps away from the table, moving to sit on a couch instead and tries to take a deep breath and center herself.

She doesn't know the building well, so she has no idea where she can go for privacy, or if it would even do her any good.

[thatspoetrytoo.livejournal.com]

She's never had a milkshake before. In fact, she's never had a few of the things that er e on the table but it's the milkshakes that interest her the most.

She reaches out, one hand curling around the glass of a strawberry milkshake and pulls it towards her, sipping at the liquid carefully.

It's not bad, she thinks to herself. It could be worse. She's had worse.

She looks up, blinking. Something feels odd but she can't put her finger on it. She looks around, not entirely sure what to do with this oddness

BEST CRACK. :DDD

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Sitting in a puddle of tinehgirl clothes, staring with guilty, hang-dog eyes at a once-half-full glass of juice that's now spilling its contents across the floor, is a Golden Retriever. A medium-sized, slightly underfed, male Golden Retriever. Who used to be Iris.

The dog is actually Iris' daemon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A6mon_%28His_Dark_Materials%29), or at least shaped thereafter, but she-- or rather, he-- doesn't know that. He doesn't have a concept of very much right now, not even the fact that he's the wrong gender for his body. After all, he's a dog, and dogs don't care much for identity theory. He would, however, very much like to be scratched behind the ears.

The best way to ensure this happens, his little dog brain has decided, is to occasionally look up at passersby and whine piteously. He's pretty sure that always works. Even if he'd never been a dog until five minutes ago.

[splithesky.livejournal.com]

The Paradox Machine is having a chocolate milkshake.

It's cold, much colder than she is and she remembers that humans like chocolate. She's trying to be human today, she doesn't know why. it's not really working but it's something to do.

She looks around, blinking. Something feels different but she keeps drinking. Maybe it's working, maybe she's changing from her wretched state into something new.

She can only hope.

It's Mrgan's doing. She wrote this post up over a year ago, I'm just leeching

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

Theta expects to see lots of things around this place, dopplegangers, the Doctor, all sorts of strange and weird things.

What he doesn't expect to see is a dog.

"Hello!" He says quite cheerfully, dropping down to his knees, so he can give the dog a good scratch. "You're a puppy, aren't you?" He grins quite excitedly. He likes dogs. Dogs are good things.

[consultmybooks]

Tea?

Tea was supposed to be safe. Tea was supposed to be normal. But it wasn't. It was good tea, but something was definitely wrong here. Something had definitely...changed.

Giles knew better than to eat strange food laid out in a strange building that was probably mystical in more than a few of its aspects. But he'd been in here a while, and he was honestly starting to get hungry.

But even the tea hadn't been as bad as the pretzels. Or the fruit. Giles is sitting against a handy wall, glasses off, rubbing at his eyes every so often and blinking owlishly. On top of that, he appears to be hearing things. He has to be hearing things.

Where the hell is the exit?

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Iris-- or perhaps we should say Hermes, as that's the name her daemon would bear if she knew she had one-- barks once, tail wagging frantically as he leaps up to paw at Theta's knees. He's not technically a puppy, more of an adolescent, but he doesn't really know the difference. Besides, puppy is what people call you when they like you and want to pet you. And he wants to be liked and pet. So maybe that's what he is.

He gives another little bark of joy, bumping his wet nose against Theta's hand. He really is very happy to see him. Really, he'd be happy to see anyone. He doesn't really discriminate.

This should not amuse me as much as it does....

[anhonestface.livejournal.com]

The Doctor has had a strawberry milkshake. He, unfortunately, was not aware of the consequences of such an action before he had it.

Now, as he watches Giles and considers the emotions welling up inside him, he's starting to regret that.

"There is something very wrong here," he says, half to Giles and half to himself. "That's the obvious part. The not so obvious bit is what we're going to do about it."

You've been recruited to help the cause, Giles. It's his way of flirting.

How long have I owed you and Theta this for?

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

A minute ago, this chair held a Time Lord who was not particularly troubled by anything.

Now it holds a very grumpy looking cat and a spilled glass of juice.

... Koschei is not pleased.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, over at another table, and entirely oblivious to her alternate self's dog form-- well, okay, she did give him a pat on the head as she walked by, much to his glee and slight this-smells-familiar confusion-- is a certain Charun. Who has no idea where she is or why she's here, but she's intact, her bright parrot wings bobbing jauntily at her back, and that's all that concerns her. Besides, there are an absolute ton of people here, which makes this a great opportunity to find a new Mark.

This seems to be a buffet of sorts, but she's too excited by the prospect of all these new potential bonds to feel like eating much. So she's sipping at some tea, watching the crowd mill around.

Huh, she thinks, and finds herself saying a moment later, scrutinising the liquid in her cup with a wary eye. "Wonder what kind of tea this is. My tongue feels really funny. --Wait, why did I say that out loud? Tastes pretty nice, though."

She leans back against the table, contemplating whether to take another sip. "This really is very weird tea. I hope it's not poisoned or something. --No, it's probably not poisoned. I kinda know about poison. I wonder if there's going to be anyone here I can kill? That'd sure be nice."

She drops the cup at once and claps her hands over her mouth. "Wait, I didn't mean to say that!" The words are all but unintelligible through her fingers, but they come anyway.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

That's okay, Theta doesn't discriminate either. He will be pretty happy to talk (or pet in this case) to whoever is in front of him. Usually his keeper is around to make sure that he doesn't get into too much trouble but Theta has not seen Koschei in a couple of hours and now that he has a dog to play with, he's probably not going to go look for a little while.

He will happily pet him and give him all the scritches until something strikes him. "Do you belong here," he asks as if he expects the dog to answer back. "Do you have an owner, I mean? You should have an owner, you're a good dog."

Theta is getting ALL THE ANIMALS in this post. He has decided to make it his mission.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

Theta, for once in his life, has actually picked up on something.

The people who go get things from the table have things happen to them. This is something he's been observing from many places but, at the moment, it's been under said table.

He was actually crawling out to tell Koschei what he's noticed when he sees him take a drink form the juice.

"Kosch--"

There is a kitty.

His brain is torn between 'This is not very good' and "KITTY!!'

He walks over, hands shoved in his pockets before looking down at him. "Are you all right," he says his tone worried. Then, after a moment's pause he adds. "Can I pet you? Please?"

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Hermes is all of the happy. All of the happy. He's rolled over, belly up, thumping his tail exuberantly against the floor when Theta's words penetrate his mind. Or at least, somewhat penetrate. He's not really sure if he understands or not, but something strange and undoglike in his mind seems to latch onto the concept of owner. Being-that-owns-you. Alpha dog.

Or something like that, anyway. His doggy brain can't quite get a handle on it. But he's pretty sure he doesn't have that; not any more, if he ever did. He's all alone, even if there are lots of people-scents and food-scents and interesting-thing-scents, and that makes him a very sad dog indeed.

He whines again, rolling back onto his belly and lowering his head to the ground in a quite unsubtle and utterly pitiful attempt at manipulation. Please take me home, his big brown eyes implore.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

He just so happens to be walking by, a cookie in his hand, as Iris speaks.

"Wait," he says, looking back at her. "What?"

He feels concern over this. Like he should be doing something, not encouraging her, oh no that's not happening but instead he should...stop her.

He blinks, not entirely sure what to make of that. Murder is certainly villainous, why should hhe have a problem if she wants to kill people?

He decides, even though his instincts are telling him otherwise, that it's clearly because she would b e encroaching on his territory.

Why am I not surprised?

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

Koschei is considering going and hiding in the TARDIS until this passes when Theta walks up to him. The look he directs up on him does not appear any less disgruntled, but that has nothing to do with Theta.

He leans forward to brush against Theta's leg, the contact making it easier to talk to him mentally. He's very careful in brushing against Theta's mind, and even more careful in how little he opens to him, just enough to be heard.

I'm fine, he assures, and manages to keep the exasperation hidden when he adds, and fine, if you want.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

He will get lots of belly rubs as Theta smiles on, quite pleased with his find. He doesn't normally run into stray animals here, usually if there are animals, they are owned, but today jut seems to be his lucky day.

He watches him, blinking as Hermes seems to grow unhappy. "Do you not have a home?" He questions, still petting him. "That's not right, you ought to have somewhere."

And the wheels in his damaged little brain start turning. "You could probably come back with us," he says considering. "Are you a good dog? If you're a good dog you could come. I don't know if Koschei likes dogs but we can ask nicely. If not I can help you find somewhere maybe."

We'll just ignore the fact that it sounds very much like he wants to keep him for himself.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

Her eyes widen as the man's gaze fixes on her. "No, wait, this is totally the last thing I wanted to happen!" she babbles. "I mean, I really was hoping that no one would have heard me saying that! I mean... why am I telling you all this? Aah!"

She tugs frantically at her hair, her wings fluttering and knocking over several half-finished drinks, the liquids spilling out and mingling in a tacky, vivid array of hues. "This really isn't good! It's like I'm saying everything I think and if I start doing that, I'm gonna scare everyone away and everyone will hate me!" She tilts her head at the man, unable to fight the urge to express her curiosity. "...Who are you, anyway?"

Because you've spent more than three minutes with Theta.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

He smiles brightly, promptly scooping up the Koscheicat and giving him a good snuggle.

Yes, we're all aware that he asked about petting, not snuggling. No, we don't think he cares.

Theta promptly plops down on the chair and puts Koschei in his lap, petting him and giving him a nice scritch behind the ears.

Having him around his mind is a little unnerving but he doesn't say that and he tries to keep all the dark and dangerous spots closed off. He's nervous though, scared that there's a hole somewhere that he might have missed and Koschei could just slip in and be lost.

He doesn't want him to get lost in Theta's damaged parts, he doens't want that at all.

You're a lovely cat,?i> he offers at a kind of consolation, even though he doubts it's much of a comfort to the man.

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Oh, he doesn't know many words, but he knows those ones. Good dog. He gives a little bark of confirmation, not too loud, and looks up at Theta again. Those doggy eyes seem to be gazing right into his soul. Oh, yes, I'm a good dog, he longs to say. I'm a very very good dog very good at being that yes yes will be good please please take me home....

Iris' natural inclinations to subservience are a perfect fit for Hermes' dog-brain. Right now, having a master who'll love him and occupy a spot in the pecking order above him sounds like the most wonderful thing in the world. There might even be treats. But no, don't think about treats. Think about being good. Good dog. Yes. Good dogs get taken home.

He has the sudden urge to lick Theta's hand, but wonders if that might be overkill. Or at least, has the presence of mind to think People-shaped things don't always like wet tongues, although he's not sure why. So he just noses his hand again, instead.

Oh yes. This is a very good day for both of them.

...aaaand what the heck, dropping rift!Iris in here. BECAUSE CLEARLY SHE AND AURORA NEED THIS.

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Iris, thankfully, has only drunk the water. Thankfully, she mentally supplies, because water can't possibly be bad. As a substance, it's almost completely inert, and she'd be able to tell instantly if there were anything wrong with it. So, of course, she's perfectly safe.

Besides, she's kind of thirsty. Having been transported to this strange place is making her nervous, and being nervous makes her throat dry. So she downs the whole glass of water, then scans the room for familiar faces, wondering idly why she feels kind of drunk.

And then she spots Aurora, chilling on a couch. "...Oh, hi!" she calls in a slightly more exuberant voice than Aurora's headache might like, flopping down next to the fae and draping her wings over the back of the couch. "Hey, you have any idea where we are or how to get out or anything? I mean, you know all sorts of stuff, so I kind of figured you might know. And things. Um. Don't mind me." She holds up her glass, examining it quizzically. "I think there might've been something in the water."

[wonderneverdies.livejournal.com]

Lyman is wandering through, humming a lullabye cheerfully to himself as he does. The spread of food makes him smile, and though he's not particularly hungry, he takes a few pretzels to munch on as he passes through.

He's almost out of the room again when he finishes his snack and begins to hum again -- or tries to. Nothing comes out, though, and he closes his eyes and tries to clear his throat, but despite the fact that he can feel it happen there's no sound.

"Hello?" he tries to say, except he's only mouthing the words, nothing comes out of his mouth, and he leans against the arm of the chair behind him and covers his face, panic setting in as he keeps trying to speak and getting silence.

[hearthebreaking.livejournal.com]

He listens to her ramble on and is slightly amused. he thinks this is what he must sound like to some people who look at his blog. Of course everything he says on there is carefully calculated and intentional. Mostly. Usuaslly.

But that's not the point.

"Who am I" He scoffs. "I'm Dr. Horrible." He's mildly offended that she's never heard of him but then again, most people haven't. He just wishes they had.

A part of him is debating a name change, maybe something not so horrible. Something....Something heroic.

Then he looks at her, looks at his cookie, and shakes his head. He's clearly not feeling well today.

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

Koschei is careful to stay on the edges; he knows that Theta prefers he stay out, and he'd prefer it as well, never quite trusting himself in other people's minds. But there's no other way to talk to him, at the moment, and he'd rather not be entirely cut off from contact.

The petting is... far more enjoyable than Koschei would ever admit and the fact that it is entirely due to the shape does very little to alleviate the annoyance at that. He settles down in his lap anyway, though, more for Theta's benefit than his own.

Theta's words of consolation do very little to help, as well. He would much rather be back to his own shape.

You didn't have anything, did you? he asks as the thought occurs to him. He assumes not, he assumes that he'd have noticed if something had happened, but it's better to be sure.

[afewlooseends.livejournal.com]

"Dr. Horrible?" she echoes, the words out of her mouth before she can check them. "That's kind of a weird name. --I really need to slow down. Think through my words before I say them. But it's like I can't. Like when my Calling hits and I can't not let my wings out because there's this pressing at my back and it makes my muscles go all weak like water and then they're just there. It's kind of like that. But with words. I sound really silly. I'm sorry. Also I didn't mean to insult your name, but it is kind of weird."

She takes a deep breath, partly because she needs one, and partly in an attempt to clear her mind. If she could only reach a meditative state, a state of no thoughts-- but it's so noisy in here. All the talking is breaking her concentration.

"...all the talking is breaking my concentration," she says, then sighs. "What's in that cookie? Did it do anything weird to you? I'm pretty sure that tea did something weird to me. This is really annoying."

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

Generally, milkshakes are more of Theta's type of drink than Koschei's, but when he'd picked it up he'd been intending to find Theta and offer it to him. After searching briefly and being informed by Grace that he was with her, however, he'd sat down instead and, well, it was in his hand anyway.

Which is why Koschei is on a couch, sipping on a chocolate milkshake as he pages through a book in search of useful information.