[open] Crackplot post!

[wordoftheroses]

Once upon a time there was a sentient building that was very fond of snatching up people from whatever they were doing and forcing them to interact.

This was fun for the building for a while but it soon grew bored of just watching people and decided that it would have a little fun.

So now, along with snatching people up from their respective lives, it's decided to run a little experiment.

Hence the nice little spread you'll walk in on in the main room. One table laden with food, the other with drinks, but any option you stumble into will give you more than you bargained for.

There's a prettily laid out platter of fruit, for instance, but if you find yourself munching for it, odd things might start happening. Hearing things people didn't actually say, feeling things for no apparent reason. And if that's a regular occurrence? You just might find it happening a little more frequently, a little more constantly. Or maybe, you'll find other people looking at you as if they can hear what you were just thinking.

There's another platter with a nice little spread of cookies. Some are gigantic, more like a mini-cake than a cookie, and some are normal cookie size. If you much on the normal cookies, you might find yourself feeling odd. Not quite yourself. In fact, very not yourself. And if you go for a big one, you'll find the urge to share it even if you're not the type of person who generally does that. And that person you share it with? You may just find that you feel more like them than you do like you.

There's a bowl of nuts set out that look perfectly innocent, but those who steal a handful will find a few moments later something unfamiliar is happening to their body. An unexpected change in a couple of rather private areas.

Those who go for cake will also find themselves changing physically. Maybe the young are suddenly finding themselves a little more grown-up. Or maybe the grown-up suddenly rediscover their childhood. Or maybe you're somewhere in between, and then, well, who knows where you'll go?

And the last food choice of the day is an offering of pretzels. Those that go for the pretzels will find that, a few moments after taking a bite, something starts fading away. Maybe you can't taste the salt anymore, maybe you can't quite understand what people are saying. Things go dark. You can't speak. Something goes away.

The drinks table holds its own danger in a multitude of enticing liquids. You might be safer sticking with the water. Or, well, maybe not. Because after taking a sip, you'll find that things you don't mean to say just... slip out. That your reactions are a little more intense. Things that should be vaguely amusing you can't stop laughing at and things that are mildly irritating send you into a rage.

There's always tea, but sipping on that might just loosen your tongue even farther. In fact, you may find there's nothing you can think that you don't say.

The coffee is no safer. Sure, at first it seems a little less problematic, but then somebody might ask you a question. And whatever that question is, if you go to lie, you'll find it comes out as the truth anyway. And if you try to lie without being asked a question, it just won't come out the way you expect it to.

There's an array of different flavored juices sitting there to sample as well. But take a sip and you won't get the chance to finish it. Whatever the flavor, you'll find you're something you weren't before. If you're lucky, it's still humanoid. Not everyone will be lucky.

And as a final option, there's three delicious-looking flavors of milkshake set out. Those that go for strawberry might find themselves with butterflies in their stomach at the next person who talks to them. The chocolate fans will find their reaction something a little bit deeper, even if the next person they see is a stranger. And those who go for vanilla might find the exact reverse; the next person that looks at them just won't leave them alone.

Anyone looking for food besides this layout will find their search and/or request comes up with nothing. If you don't touch the offerings, you'll be fine. If you do? Well, good luck....


[OOC: ...Ahem. GIANT CRACKPLOT POST OF DOOM. A quick rundown in case anything's not clear: fruit=psychic abilities (either reading or projecting, and those with abilities are heightened); cookies=personality switch (giant ones are with the person they share with, small ones are just switch an aspect/entire personality as you wish); nuts=genderswap; cake=age (up or down is up to the mun, doesn't matter what age they are); pretzels=sensory loss (or muteness, that counts); water=heightens emotions and/or removes inhibitions; tea=speaks thoughts aloud; coffee=can only tell the truth; juice=species shift; milkshakes=fall in love/crush with the next person you see (strawberry is crush, chocolate is love, vanilla is the next person you see falls for you to a degree up to the muns). Go nuts. Post the same person doing several different cracks. Do several at once to someone. Multiple verses. Whatever. If you want to tag someone specific put their LJ name in the subject of your comment. Otherwise, go nuts

Note: it should be noted that this post was copied from a private musebox that allaroughdraft and I were in. I's copied practically verbatim, so all the credit for the crack goes to her, I just thought it would be fun to open it to mass response.)

Comments

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

That's okay, Theta doesn't discriminate either. He will be pretty happy to talk (or pet in this case) to whoever is in front of him. Usually his keeper is around to make sure that he doesn't get into too much trouble but Theta has not seen Koschei in a couple of hours and now that he has a dog to play with, he's probably not going to go look for a little while.

He will happily pet him and give him all the scritches until something strikes him. "Do you belong here," he asks as if he expects the dog to answer back. "Do you have an owner, I mean? You should have an owner, you're a good dog."

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Hermes is all of the happy. All of the happy. He's rolled over, belly up, thumping his tail exuberantly against the floor when Theta's words penetrate his mind. Or at least, somewhat penetrate. He's not really sure if he understands or not, but something strange and undoglike in his mind seems to latch onto the concept of owner. Being-that-owns-you. Alpha dog.

Or something like that, anyway. His doggy brain can't quite get a handle on it. But he's pretty sure he doesn't have that; not any more, if he ever did. He's all alone, even if there are lots of people-scents and food-scents and interesting-thing-scents, and that makes him a very sad dog indeed.

He whines again, rolling back onto his belly and lowering his head to the ground in a quite unsubtle and utterly pitiful attempt at manipulation. Please take me home, his big brown eyes implore.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

He will get lots of belly rubs as Theta smiles on, quite pleased with his find. He doesn't normally run into stray animals here, usually if there are animals, they are owned, but today jut seems to be his lucky day.

He watches him, blinking as Hermes seems to grow unhappy. "Do you not have a home?" He questions, still petting him. "That's not right, you ought to have somewhere."

And the wheels in his damaged little brain start turning. "You could probably come back with us," he says considering. "Are you a good dog? If you're a good dog you could come. I don't know if Koschei likes dogs but we can ask nicely. If not I can help you find somewhere maybe."

We'll just ignore the fact that it sounds very much like he wants to keep him for himself.

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Oh, he doesn't know many words, but he knows those ones. Good dog. He gives a little bark of confirmation, not too loud, and looks up at Theta again. Those doggy eyes seem to be gazing right into his soul. Oh, yes, I'm a good dog, he longs to say. I'm a very very good dog very good at being that yes yes will be good please please take me home....

Iris' natural inclinations to subservience are a perfect fit for Hermes' dog-brain. Right now, having a master who'll love him and occupy a spot in the pecking order above him sounds like the most wonderful thing in the world. There might even be treats. But no, don't think about treats. Think about being good. Good dog. Yes. Good dogs get taken home.

He has the sudden urge to lick Theta's hand, but wonders if that might be overkill. Or at least, has the presence of mind to think People-shaped things don't always like wet tongues, although he's not sure why. So he just noses his hand again, instead.

Oh yes. This is a very good day for both of them.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

He smiles brightly at the bark, taking it as a sign of understanding. "Okay," he says with a nod of his head. "Okay, if you're good, then we might have a chance. Maybe." He sounds hopeful, even though he knows full well that Koschei and animals do not go entirely well together.

He's hoping if he asks very nicely and proves that he's a good dog, then maybe things will go well.

He gets more pets for a few minutes before Theta gets to his feet. "C'mon," he urges. "We can go find Koschei and ask. If he says yes, then you can stay. If he says no....If he says no we'll find you a good home, I promise. Just not with us."

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

He doesn't really grasp all the complexities of that. Just c'mon and stay and a handful of other things, most of which don't seem relevant to the situation. So he bounces up and trots after him, because Theta seems to be going places, and if he follows him there may be a home. That would be a good thing. That would be a very good thing indeed.

There's a nagging thought in the back of her person-mind that's telling him This is not a good idea, but the dog-mind happily ignores it. Why wouldn't this be a good idea? He was lonely here, and he didn't have an owner or a home. Now he gets to have both. What's not to like? You do have a home, his mind seems to be saying, and someone who loves you, too, but he doesn't understand. He's sure he doesn't have anyone. Silly brain, saying things that don't make sense.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

He looks around curiously, trying to spy Koschei and not seeing him anywhere on sight. After a moment of consideration, he pets Hermes on the head and then climbs on a chair, has balence somewhat wavering as he tries to spot the man.

"Koschei," he calls out and a few heads turn but none of them are the one he actually needs. "Koschei?"

He gets down off the chair carefully and sits on it, reaching out to pet Hermes as he tries to think of where to start looking first.

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

Clearly, Koschei has Theta-senses, because he's walking out of the TARDIS (disguised as a cabinet, in the corner) when Theta starts calling for him. And, since it's Theta, he's at his side as quickly as he can manage.

"What is it?" Don't mind the worry he's trying to keep out of his voice, it'll go away when he knows Theta's not looking for him because he's in danger. It's only after asking that he pays attention enough to notice the dog, but he's not going to pay it much attention until he gets his answer.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

Theta grins, hugging him briefly before crouching down to pet Hermes again. "I found a dog," he informs. "He's a good boy, at least he has been so far. Can we keep him?"

He smiles wide and hopeful and looks up to Koschei, one arm wrapping around the dog in a light hug.

[sophicsulphur.livejournal.com]

Hermes gives a happy bark in confirmation, then starts panting. Hugs are nice. He likes hugs. He's sure there was something happening a moment ago, but now there are hugs, so it doesn't matter. It's a little annoying that he can't remember what it is, though.

Oh, yes. Good boy. He's a good boy. He doesn't really know the difference between boy and girl, except by scent. And he smells like a boy, so he supposes he must be one. He doesn't know how else he'd be able to tell. He barks again, short and pleased, then nudges at Koschei's leg. Good boy.

[learntobeyou.livejournal.com]

"You found a dog," Koschei repeats flatly, stepping away from it as it touches him. Even with animals, he is not the best with physical contact. "Theta, I don't think that would be a good idea. If there's a dog here, it probably has an owner."

He's looks around for someone who looks like they've lost their dog. The sooner they find the owner, the sooner Theta can be distracted and not talking about getting a dog.

[darkgathersin.livejournal.com]

"He doesn't have one," he informs, having fully expected Koschei would say something like that. Once he knows that the dog doesn't belong to anyoen though, he'll surely say yes. At least that's what he hopes.

"I didn't really look," he admits after a moment. "But he wanted to come home with me." He smiles. "Can we keep him if we can't find an owner? I wouldn't want him if he already has somewhere to go but he needs a home of he's a stray. He's a good dog, he deserves a home."